Why he acts cold

So they need to feel a different thing to what you feel in order to want to be with you all the time, and be deeply committed to you.

They take a slightly different path to you as a woman. Before he will be willing to step up to the plate and continue with the deep connection you had in the beginning, he needs to feel like a man with you.

Remember the research I talked about above? About how when a man falls in love, his testosterone levels actually lower? And the same with you. Think about it. This is why women go spend thousands and thousands of dollars on things that will enhance their looks. Because inside, they want to feel radiant, they want to be noticed, and appreciated, and they want their beauty to be appreciated.

Get addicted to golf. Go to war for seemingly unwarranted reasons at least to a woman anyway. Go quiet and hide away in their man cave. Not call you for several days. For example, men often get hurt and frustrated by us spending hoards of money on what they would deem to be pointless things. Such as new dresses or mugs when we already have 50 at home. My point is that if your man is pulling away from the relationship, he is pulling away so that he can feel like a man.

What he does may be selfish, it may hurt you like hell, and you may not LIKE it. However, at the bottom of it all, he just wants to feel like a man. So if right now your man seems to be running hot and cold and pulling away, and you feel scared, taken for granted or confused, here are the 5 action steps you can take.

The first thing I recommend that you do moving forward, is to get some clarity and understanding of his intent towards you. Men have evolved over millions of years to be hunters! To bring home food, to kill beasts, and to work in a group with their comrades to achieve a result. Ie: kill the food, and bring it home. Men are not originally made to have their default mode of operation be to actively seek out long-term relationships with women.

That is the first layer of truth to this. And that is that we as humans were made to pair bond, too. In fact, we are pair bonding machines! Men will only seek out relationship with the woman they see as the right woman. Of course he can. Not the one of many woman. You need do to this so that he feels safe to progress with you.

Perhaps he wants to take a short breather or break from the relationship. It can give him an opportunity to miss you badly. You can free yourself from feeling rejected, to then get in a better emotional state so that you can work from a position of power to make the relationship or your future relationships better. This will allow you to give him space. Give him time. He needs it to re-charge and to feel like a man again. Give him the space and time he needs.

This is going to begin the process of getting him to associate you with the feeling of being able to be feel like a man. Are you afraid of not being good enough for him? Are you afraid he is going to go back to his ex? Write down everything you fear write each fear beneath the other so you have space for the next part of the exercise. Write down everything. For example.

Related posts: Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden? Cazza May 17, , am. Reply Link. Joanne June 14, , pm. I totally agree — the article was spot-on and gives the right kind of advice.

Jen April 24, , am. Jennifer Apodaca April 12, , pm. Nicole April 1, , am. Juliana November 4, , pm. Mr M October 26, , pm. Te Toma Parata May 11, , pm. Cc April 17, , pm.

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Kita burnette October 10, , am. Chris February 5, , pm. Emily November 1, , am. Ummm BF? Sounds like your the problem. Rather than expecting romance and wild sex and constant texts all the time, remember that things will steady themselves out the more you spend time together. Stay busy by pursuing your own hobbies, hanging out with friends, or just enjoying some alone time. The more distracted you can keep yourself, the less impact small things will have on you.

Coming from a positive angle like this shows him that you are not trying to start a fight or criticize his behavior. This also gives him a chance to be honest if there is something else going on — he might not want to bring things up himself, so this can be a good prompt to help him open up. It also shows that you are aware of what is going on, and will help him realize that his actions or inactions!

If you think that this behavior is a pattern and it keeps happening, he is unlikely to change. You either accept that you will be taken on an emotional rollercoaster with this guy, or you put yourself first and leave.

If they like you, why are they playing games? They may like you, but their shy nature keeps them from approaching you. In fact, talking to you might even make them nervous. They might come across as really rude, but it is how they are around an interest. Much as this guy seems smitten by you, perhaps he feels the same for a few other women. If that is the case, he may want to weigh his options and may not make a move as he does not want to commit to one woman yet.

Perhaps he does not want to settle for one person and wants more time enjoying his non-committed status and flirting with as many women as he can. Some guys do not want to look desperate before the girl they like. This guy is probably playing hard-to-get so that his disinterest in you gets you even more interested in him. One day, he will shower you with loads of attention, and the next day, he will go completely silent — blowing hot and cold.

His inconsistent behavior will drive you crazy and keep you interested in him. Much to his surprise, you got friendly too quickly and even started initiating things for both of you. Your obsession with him probably scares him.

He may like you, but perhaps he has not yet reached a point to take your relationship to the next level. Your enthusiasm could put him off and make him cold towards you. You like him and enjoy his attention. You do not want to lose his interest, so you act hard-to-get.

But after trying to woo you for a while, he is probably tired and feels you are not interested in him. So, he gives up and starts acting distant because he sees no point in trying to impress someone who is not into him. Perhaps someone in his family is ill, and he needs to be with them, or he has an important project to work on and does not want to be distracted. There could be many reasons that could be keeping him from messaging you or talking to you. This may not mean he has lost interest in you.